Embracing Stillness: Discoveries at a Vipassana Camp
Sometimes, the loudest lessons in life come from the sound of silence. Recently, I spent ten days at a Vipassana meditation camp, a place where silence guides you towards self-discovery and peace. This blog post is about that journey – the challenges, the insights, and the lessons learned in the embrace of stillness.
What is Vipassana?
Vipassana means 'to see things as they really are'. It is a non-religious, non-sectarian meditation technique, pioneered by Gautama Buddha, and intended as a universal remedy for universal ills. Vipassana aims to not only calm but also purify the mind. To purify one's mind, it is crucial to recognize and train oneself not to react to cravings (of pleasant desires) and aversions (to unpleasant situations). Everyone suffers in their own way, and the cycle of misery only breaks when the mind stops reacting to these cravings and aversions. Vipassana offers a method for applying concentration, helping the mind learn not to react.
Why I Attended the Camp
The introductory practice of Vipassana meditation is taught at a 10-day silent retreat. My primary goal was to focus my mind away from distractions and, secondarily, to seek calmness and balance. I was drawn to Vipassana for its non-religious, non-commercial nature. Fortunately, I had a 10-day break from work at the end of 2023, which allowed me to attend a camp in Occidental, California, from December 18th to December 29th, 2023.
First Impressions
Upon arrival at the camp, the efficiency and preparedness of the operation were evident. After completing the necessary forms and checking in our devices, we were assigned bunk beds in a dorm and briefed about the rigorous commitment ahead. The “Noble Silence” started after a light meal at the end of orientation. This meant no talking, communicating, or even making eye contact with others. Noble Silence is part of the practice's three precepts: “Sila” (moral conduct), “Samadhi” (concentration), and “Panna” (wisdom).
The Challenge of Silence
As an introvert, I found the silence comforting rather than challenging. I take quarterly self-care silent digital detox retreats on my own for 3-5 days, so I had some practice going into this extended routine. Adjusting to the routines of 11 other dorm-mates without communication took some time, but everyone was considerate and mindful. The selflessness and mindfulness of others, like the person above me who carefully climbed his bunk, were appreciated.
Schedule & Meditation Sessions
The daily routine began at 4 AM and ended at 9:30 PM, including 10-11 hours of meditation, an hour of discourse, and breaks. The main adjustment was the absence of dinner (you get tea and a fruit at 5 PM), but this became easier over time. The highlight of the day was the teacher’s discourse at 7:15 PM, where they played a video recording of S.N. Goenka (main teacher who pioneered the program and created the structure) explaining the Vipassana philosophy with stories and anecdotes with increasing depth each day.
During the first three days, we got to learn the basics of the “Anapana” meditation technique, which teaches us to observe the natural breath and achieve concentration of mind (“Samadhi”). It was immediately clear why we needed 10 to 11 hours of practice per day for 10 days when, during the first day itself, I struggled to keep my concentration for more than 10 minutes or so at a stretch. By continuing to practice hour by hour on just observing the breath, by day 3, I found myself making substantial progress and was able to keep the concentration going for longer and longer stretches of time.
Physical & Emotional Challenges
On day 4, we were taught the main Vipassana meditation technique, where you are taught to concentrate and observe sensations (“Sankhara”) on the entire length of your body without any reactions or judgment, i.e., with Equanimity. These sensations can be pleasant (e.g., tingling, pulsing sensations) or unpleasant (e.g., pain, hard sensations on parts of the body) and represent cravings and aversions respectively. The idea is to plainly observe these sensations and ultimately use this ability to control your mind to avoid reacting to cravings and aversions or recover from unpleasant thoughts as quickly as possible. A big part of the teaching focuses on “Anicca” (impermanence), i.e., everything is subject to change. Something that you have a craving for may give you momentary satisfaction, but it’s impermanent. Similarly, one may be going through a rough patch, but that’s also temporary and bound to change over time. Internalizing this concept of impermanence through hour over hour of meditation proved to be very helpful in calming my mind. My mind would often wander to topics related to work, family, the future, etc., and every time I came back to “this too shall change,” it brought even-keeled calmness.
The harder challenge, though, was physical. From day 4 onwards, you are asked to meditate in a posture with “Sittings of Strong Determination” (“Adhithanna”). To achieve the strongest concentration of mind, one has to sit straight for an hour with no movement of the hands, legs, or arms at all. This was very painful for most people. I was fortunate because I received an exception and was able to sit on a chair due to a sprained lower back and hamstring, so it was more manageable, but for most students, sitting cross-legged with a straight back and no movement for an hour is tough, to say the least.
Insights & Transformations
The reinforcement of “Anicca” (impermanence) through repeated long stretches of meditation will remain entrenched in my mind, and I am hopeful this will be key to controlling my emotions and reactions. I am catching myself from reacting adversely to unpleasant thoughts and interactions by reminding myself it’s all impermanent. I’m observing my breath and sensations on my body more and more and using this technique to stay calmer. Even though it’s early days, I am hopeful this focus and mindset will continue.
The 9th day of the camp was the hardest, physically and emotionally. After 9 days of ~250 people meditating in one hall, students started getting sick with a cough, cold, and COVID, including me. Further exacerbating things was the cold, rainy weather. Just going from the dorm to the washroom 100 feet away in the rain through mud early in the morning to brush your teeth was daunting when you’re sick, yet have to endure through the pain. Emotionally too, the culmination of the Vipassana meditation teaching happens on the 9th day and one is told that deep memories from the past might surface and trigger strong emotional reactions. These represent latent “Sankharas” and it's good to let them surface up so they can be eradicated away. I too felt a rush of emotions from past memories, but it wasn’t clear what triggered them. Nevertheless, it was cathartic and ultimately calming.
Conclusion & Final Thoughts
On day 10, the Noble Silence is broken and students are allowed to talk to each other. We even received a treat of Vegan Burgers for lunch! The atmosphere is clearly lighter, and everyone shared notes and humorous anecdotes of our snoring prowess. There are no fees for the camp, but we’re encouraged to donate so future students can benefit from the services they provide. We received the final discourse exhorting us to continue meditating one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening, which admittedly will be challenging. The idea is that the 10-day camp was just the initiation process of teaching us Vipassana meditation, but the benefits will accrue only through continued and repeated practice.
I hope to continue practicing what I learned. It’s a clear, logical, practical, and non-dogmatic approach to calming and purifying your mind. Whether this is for you is up to personal preference. I would encourage you to read up more and if this interests you, give it a try! Just be prepared for a brutal 10 days. It will be one of the hardest things you will ever do, but well worth it in the end!